Apologize
by Kuroi.Sky.Shinobi
Summary: And I Need You Like A Heart Needs A Beat.


**Kuroi.Sky.Shinobi:** _I don't own Ouran high host club. _

_I'm starting anew people, I'm going to start off with a series of one shots. When I finish my final year in high school (this year) 6 months D I will start a full story over the LONG break I have._

_Thank you for you support._

This morning was the end of the rest of her life. The people she knew, the things she had learnt from them no longer mattered, not to her, not anymore. The secret dream of belonging, to be apart of family, to have the husband who respected her as equally as he loved her would now and forever stay a dream. Never would she become Mrs Haruhi Suoh but would always remain as Miss Haruhi _Fujioka. _

_This morning…of Tamaki Suoh's wedding to the beautiful Ms Éclair Tonnerre._

_No one could stop what was going to happen, after the engagement was announced it seemed the whole matter was set in stone; no amount of money or level of status from anyone could stop this skeptical, not Hikaru, not Mori, neither Honey or Kaoru…not even Kyouya. If those people, the people who had been so close to Tamaki could not as much create a glimpse of refusal from him then Haruhi was lost to hope. _

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Haruhi awoke in the darkness, the room cold, her skin clammy and numb. A sigh escaped her quivering lips, 4am an unforgiving hour of the morning. She desired no more restless sleep. "I…don't have the power to stop it." The whisper echoed in the silent room, the early wind tickled her delicate skin. "Come on Haruhi, except it." She stood and gently padded to the wardrobe, there it was, the outfit her father insisted on purchasing for Tamaki's wedding.

"_Haruhi, with this you'll surely bag a man." _

She recalled her father saying in his usually up beat tone, but she didn't wish to 'bag' any old man, she secretly dreamed to be with just one, only him. Her thin fingers traced over the smooth fabric, a simple clean and cream dress decorated with imprints of golden ivy, a modest cut in an innocent sort of way, no straps, it wrapped around her subtle chest and clung softly to her small waist, her father had again insisted on buying shoes, for her doll like feet heelless ballet shoes seemed appropriate, with lightly silvered ribbon that wound up her supple legs to reach her knee. Her now wandering gaze that had been lost in the wardrobe found the blinking clock lights, 6am; had she really been thinking all that time? Although perhaps expected on a day such as this one.

She had received no invitation to the rehearsal the previous night, and nor had she expected one; the only reason she had been invited to the actual wedding was simply because she was a friend to all host club members; she had been invited much to Tonnerre's dismay. As she walked out of the bathroom, the quiet melody of her cell phone was heard; she approached her desk and found what she was looking for.

"Hello?"

"Morning Haruhi how are you?"

"I'm excited" Her tone the same as it always was.

"Haruhi, your one of the smartest women I know but you lack the ability to lie."

"Kaoru please, I'm fine, honestly, I will see you at…the wedding"

"Yes Haruhi, take care until then."

"Goodbye Kaoru."

In no small way was she 'excited', she cursed herself for being so transparent even over the phone, although, she was only 'transparent' to the host club as they had come to understand her deeply, in some small way she also cursed herself for letting them.

9am, and the wedding would take place in two hours; her hair was straight and reached her neck line now, she had become so unaware of things after the engagement was announced, the small amount makeup on her face only emphasised her natural beauty; from childhood she had found no reason for it. As she looked in the mirror she found the reflection of a lost and confused soul. Her once shimmering orbs now showed the conflicting emotions within her. With one last glance at herself she walked out the door and closed it with a sound click.

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As the car pulled up into the vast church yard, her stomach clenched and her heart tightened. "No Haruhi, not now, you've gotten this far, be strong; just as you always have been." She could see them, the rich and the powerful, the people who saw marriage as a business partnership or bargaining chip. These people didn't care about the wedding today they simply wanted the publicity and to be seen actually giving a damn about other things in life except themselves, all the while just pretending, just like they always do.

Her gentle hand shook as she opened the car door, her swan like legs buckled beneath her as she hesitantly stepped out. The unease she felt subsided a little as she spotted Hikaru and Kaoru. As the car drove away behind her she felt trapped, she knew it was best to keep her mind busy, well, busier than it was. As she walked across the church yard it seemed all eyes were on her, yes, she was beautiful and people knew greatly of her intelligence so it was only natural that she would earn looks and subtle yet curious whispers.

"Haruhi" she turned to find Hikaru and Kaoru staring at her, in a way she had never seen them stare, like they were lost in a daze.

"Yes?" she replied softly.

"You look, wonderful." Hikaru spoke, his eyes holding true sincerity.

"Thank you Hikaru, but you don't need to compliment me." She replied her eyes wandering the yard.

"Haruhi…are you sure you're ok?" Kaoru added softly.

"Listen, if I wasn't I wouldn't have come today, I'm here to be supportive just like everyone else, so, so yeah I'm ok, you don't have to worry."

The wedding was going to start shortly, the once bustling church yard started to die down, far too quickly.

"Haruhi, like I said before, you're not so great at lying." Kaoru said in his usual calm manner.

"Kaoru, honestly I'm fine-I"

"You're just what Haruhi!? To scared to stop it? You do realise you're the only who has any sort of power to do so? For god sake's, you have always been so aware and have always known what to do! Don't back down now, don't-

"Don't what? Hikaru I appreciate what you're trying to do but just…leave me alone."

"Hikaru, Kaoru, that's enough."

"Kyouya I thought you were with Tamaki?" Kaoru asked sharply.

"The ceremony is going to start in 5 minutes, its best we all get inside." His voice somewhat lower but possessed the same composed tone.

As Hikaru turned back to look at Haruhi, she was already walking into the church.

"Hikaru, Kaoru, now is not the best time to be doing this, we can only imagine how she is feeling right now, I can see she does not need the added pressure; as much as this is hurting us all in some way, we have no say in the matter anymore." Kyouya, the shadow king sounded almost defeated in his words; the one who lost to no one. This truly was a day of confusion and change.

"Kyouya-I" Hikaru stuttered.

"Come on, we have no more options." Kaoru took hold of his brother's hand and walked toward the towering church doors. Kyouya looked towards the sky and for what seemed like the first time in his life the great shadow king sighed and a sigh of genuine sadness.

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As Haruhi entered she noticed the great hall was completely full, the pews were brimming with rich colour and money; the people she knew neither cared or would ever care. It was obvious now, she was left to stand at the back, it did not bother her, hopefully that way Tamaki would not spot her, and she wouldn't have to look into those violet eyes.

Her eyes trailed past each pew, now and then spotting a familiar face, the twins with their mother and father, Honey and Mori together with their siblings, Kyouya at the top of the lavished alter, right next to-

"Tamaki" her whisper caught in her throat, there he was, tall and proud his white suit straight and crisp…he was occasionally moving his head towards Kyouya, most likely muttering some nonsense to him she thought.

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"Is she here Kyouya?" Tamaki whispered his nervousness more than obvious.

"No Tamaki…Haruhi couldn't make it." He replied, his gaze trailing to the ground.

"Oh, I understand its better this way, I did this for her, and I did this for the entire host club. I'll be out your way and out of…her way, she can reach her dream now, as can everybody else." Tamaki said, his voice sinking lower with each word.

"Tamaki, you fool." Kyouya spat quietly, his onyx eyes flashing with contained rage.

The conversations in the room ceased immediately and the silence was replaced with the organs tune. Haruhi's breath became heavier, the room suddenly got so much warmer. Her nails dug into her silk like hands.

This was it; the end of the rest of her life.

There she was the fine Ms Éclair Tonnerre. The most beautiful dress Haruhi had ever seen was upon her, her Vail short and shining, complimenting her glorious locks of hair; she walked up the aisle with such elegance and grace Haruhi felt as though she was watching a ballet dancer in a music box, although, Haruhi knew that Tonnerre's inner beauty was something no one would wish to look upon. The dress's long white train flowed like a pool of snow behind her. A dress fit for a queen and Haruhi felt as though she was nothing but the house girl. As Éclair reached the alter Haruhi's heart grew heavier. She took Tamaki's hand and faced him with that smile, the smile that boiled Haruhi's blood, the smile of victory.

They both stood traditionally man on the right and women on the left, the minister stood before them, dressed lavishly in royal colours. Haruhi started to look around frantically she could see the looks on the faces of those she knew, and none were close to impressed.

But if that was the case, then why was no one stopping it!?

The minister's voice ripped through the thick atmosphere. "DEARLY beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church: which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence and first miracle that he wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is commended of Saint Paul to be honorable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined."

Haruhi clutched her sides, her head hung low, her lips red from her panicked bites.

This was it, now or never, she knew exactly what was coming next.

"If any man can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace."

There was no immediate reaction, she didn't expect there to be, not from anyone, including herself. Moments passed, and still nothing, nothing was coming from her! The words weren't coming out; time was nearly up.

"I" She whispered.

"Tamaki Suoh, Wilt thou have this Woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?

The time was up and she had missed her chance, she had lost. Haruhi Fujioka would now stay Haruhi Fujioka. Small droplets fell from her face; most people would assume from happiness but oh how wrong they were.

Tamaki looked about, his breath was shallow and his face was stricken with what looked like alarm, he was here about to give his life away to the women he didn't love; but it was promised that if he was married he could see his precious mother of whom was so dear to him but, would his mother really want that? For her only son to marry the women he didn't truly love? Was he becoming all that he hated? His swift glances dodged from host club members each of their glances stayed fixed to the floor, to his father and finally, his grandmother; the women who had done all this.

His thoughts flicked to Haruhi, what was she doing right now? Where was she? Who was she with? Was she alone? How did she feel?

"Tamaki Suoh?" The minister made obvious his impatience.

"I uh, yes"

His eyes widened what had he just said?! He had only wanted to let the minister know he was listening and he had just done it!

Haruhi clutched her chest, she felt bare, alone and distant, she knew it wasn't like the movies or the stories you hear as a child, but just for once she deeply wished it was. Tamaki, had the intention of marrying her all along, Haruhi understood that now; she began to push past one or two people all the while clinging onto the wall for support.

Kyouya stood near Tamaki in what seemed like sheer shock, that foolish bastard, what had he just done!

Haruhi ran through the doors, she fell over the steps and scrambled to pick herself up and continued to run past the gates. She would leave it all behind here, why had she been so foolish!? Why did she believe that for her, it would be different, that someone for once in her life would stay with her.

The minister continued, "Ms Éclair Tonnerre Wilt thou have this Man to thy-

"What I mean to say was, that I, um" Tamaki Stuttered.

"_Tamaki…my greatest wish for you is to be truly happy with the people you care about."_

His gaze met the women's before him. "I do not wish to marry this woman."

The room erupted in a series of gasps, faints and gossip. Kyouya couldn't help but smirk, Tamaki was an idiot but a great one at that. The twins smiled to themselves. Where as his grandmother stood in protest and wore a scowl, and his father, well his father sat with a knowing smile on his wise face.

"Your mother's words my son; I knew they would help you." He said, his words reaching only the air around him.

The confused Ms Éclair stood, her painted lips pursed as angry tears ripped through her thickened sheet of makeup. She held tightly onto Tamaki's sweat covered palm and tugged until he looked at her; he stared into her eyes and felt no regret on his decision.

As the talk grew louder, and the people started standing it seemed to catch the whole room in an outraged up roar, utterly scandalous, but right now Tamaki did not care.

"Kyouya, thank you!" he smiled broadly and ran down the aisle, dodging past those who tried to grab him, as he ran he caught glimpses of those who knew him well, smiling towards him then standing to walk out. He ran out past the doors and through the stone yard, reaching the gates the heavens opened, the light shone then faded followed by the bursts of thunder and lightening the rain pounding the ground as the storm dominated the sky.

"_Tamaki…my greatest wish for you is to be truly happy with the people you care about."_

"I understand now mother." Tamaki breathed, the rain flinging off his face and hair as he ran harder.

The weather wasn't in an inch of stopping and neither was he.

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Haruhi lay panting on her bathroom floor, the room remained steamy as the hot tap ran, her knees had been cut worse than she had thought, but her mind only focused on the pain she felt inside. Her vision began to blur as burning tears seeped down her tired face, she rolled onto her side curling up to hug her bloodied and shaking knees. Now, for once in her life she began to cry…her sobs loud and uncontrollable, the tears thick and heavy the kind of cry she had never experienced or would ever want to experience in her life. Every…little…thing, the things that had made her sad, angry, lonely and worried, the things she had felt from being so small through growing up, the uncertainty, the responsibility she had to face through her life, every single hard ship that she had to bite her lip and straighten up through, the times where she felt as though she wasn't allowed to cry. In her muffled screams into the tiled, condensed floor beneath her and the echoing pain stricken sobs, she poured out more sadness in one lost moment than anyone could in a lifetime. The boiling water began to seep over the edge of bath spilling to the floor, Haruhi lay defeated, her vision blinded by her tears the flashing thoughts in her mind raged on in her head. The water started to scold her toes and seep around her.

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Tamaki ran through the quiet streets until he finally reached her apartment. His breath seen in the air, his eyes blinded my rain drops and sweat. He ran up the stairs to the find the front door open, the lightening flash made the room visible inside, it appeared as though it had been trashed, in panic he immediately ran inside. The only source of light within came from the room that…had water spilling out through the gap at the bottom of the door. Tamaki ran and pulled the handle, the door flung open revealing Haruhi in her little cream dress, the ribbons of her shoes bloodied and her skin red. The steam filtered past Tamaki as he ran beside her.

"Haruhi!" placing his wet arm under her dainty legs then quickly placing the other under her soaking neck he lifted her hurriedly and ran to the nearest room that he could lye her down in. Panting in worry and exhaustion he put her onto the single, quilt less bed and ran back to the bathroom to turn the water off and pull the plug. Dashing back to her side he shook her frantically.

"Haruhi open your eyes! You're stronger than this!" as he began to shed tears of panic her puffy eyes fluttered open, and then remained half lidded.

"Tamaki, what are you-" She shot up and attempted to jump off the bed but failed horribly. "Haruhi, stop, calm down!" Tamaki yelled his arms grabbing her waist, he held onto her as tight as could without hurting her, he would never let go as long as she tried to run from him. "Get off me you bastard! Why the hell are you here? Stay away!" Haruhi shouted her breaths sharper as she struggled against his grasp. "Haruhi please, just listen!" Tamaki asked his voice a little softer. Her movement ended and his grasp loosened ever so slightly. "Haruhi, I'm sorry." The room stayed wrapped in silence, a small sigh escaped her lips as her back and arms sank a little. "It's too late to apologize." She replied almost too softly.

_I'm holding on your rope,  
Got me ten feet off the ground  
I'm hearin__g what you say but I just can't make a sound  
You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down, but wait  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say..._

To her surprise he did not get up and simply leave, he pulled her close, and caressed her hair. "Tamaki-what are do-" "I left…I left the wedding." "Why?" He trailed his fingers over the sore skin on her arms. "I was going to give my life away, not just to the women I didn't love, but to the people I've let, for my entire life control me…and I didn't want that, not at all." Haruhi relaxed ever so slightly against his chest, her breaths calmer than before. "So now, now Tamaki you think that everything will go back to the way it was cause it-" "I know it won't do that Haruhi, I've grown to understand that; I knew that even if I ended up marrying Ms éclair I still wouldn't be allowed to see my mother, my grandmother has always hated me so even though I would be doing something she wanted it still wouldn't change things it wouldn't change the fact she stills hates me, most likely even more now. It wouldn't change how I feel about the host club, about the things I've learnt and…about you, Haruhi." As he said that last part he kissed the crown of her head ever so gently.

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late_

"Tamaki…you still don't understand at all. What you did was thoughtless and selfish, you thought by getting engaged to someone you knew you didn't love and of whom your grandmother told you to, you thought that it would make your friends happy, happy because you would be out our way, that you wouldn't cause us anymore concern or annoyance, when honestly, your actions over these last months have done more damage than your usual idiocy ever has."

_I'd take another chance, take a fall  
Take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
But it's nothin__g new  
I loved you with a fire red-  
Now it's turning blue, and you say...  
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you  
But I'm afraid..._

Haruhi shifted to rest on her knees and turned to face him. "But…your idiocy has only made your friends realize how much you truly mean to them, how much they need you and…how much, I need you." Her eyes sought his in the darkened room, his arms still loosely looped around her thin waist; their faces centimeters away from one another. "You-need me?" His voice sounded surprised but his face showed a smile. "No…Tamaki, I-um" Haruhi's cheeks began to heat up, and the steam from the bathroom had long since faded. As she struggled to find the words, she felt a small brush against her lightly parted mouth, the brush of another's lips.

Haruhi sat straight, her now chocolate colored orbs wide. "Haruhi…I love you too." Tamaki whispered into her delicate ear, his fingers intertwining with her own graceful ones. Their faces inches apart as he closed it, their meeting shy and innocent; Tamaki traced his arms around her dainty, fragile waist as she looped her doll like hands around his muscled neck. As they broke for air, their eyes met lost within in each other, drunk on one another's essence.

Today was the beginning of the rest of her life.

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Kuroi.Pink.Shinobi: Thank you. That took me all day 'smiles' Just to let you know Kyouya told Tamaki that she wasn't there because he knew Tamaki wouldn't be able to go through with it and that Haruhi would leave at some point because it upset her so much, then the rest would play out.

I hope you enjoyed it. Please Review. No Flames and criticism kept constructive.

I will be doing requests soon. I'll let you know what genres etc for.

-Peace.

x


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